AUTHOR

19-year-old Mormon missionary Ethan Diaz felt closest to God during his mission when he finally got revenge and destroyed the amicable town of Huacho, Peru. His mission begins well enough, marked by deep cynicism and an irrational fear of death. Everyone tells him, God will protect you. But ruthless, feral children chase him with blow darts, chanting Cia! Cia! Cia! and carnivorous attack dogs attack, and microscopic bichos infest his body and pillage his bowls—where is God now? His Spanish improves, even though his Peruvian companion refuses to speak Spanish so that he can improve his English. His conversion skills improve, especially when he poses as a Jehovah’s Witness. His faith improves when he realizes he can’t count on God for anything. Despite applying only 10% effort in the mission, his strategic incompetence results in a spectacular failure, elevating him to higher positions of responsibility and undesired, virtuous accolades. During Ethan’s journey, he discovers truths about himself and the church while fostering new friendships he never thought he would find in the mission.